Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
Healing is a Process
You’ve been doing the work—whether it’s therapy, journaling, mindfulness, trauma education, support groups, or simply learning how to breathe through the tough moments again. You’re healing. Slowly but surely, you’ve begun to feel the weight of your trauma lift, even just a little. Maybe you’ve been proud of yourself. Maybe others have even said, “You seem better.”
And then… a trigger.
Something small—a smell, a sound, a memory, a word.
Or something more significant—a confrontation, a stressor, a loss.
Before you can stop it, your body is reacting, your mind is spinning, and you’re back in survival mode. You lash out. You shut down. You retreat. You dissociate. You numb. You default to those old protective behaviors that once kept you safe, even if they no longer serve you.
And afterward?
Shame. Guilt. Frustration. The nagging thought:
“I should be past this by now.”
The Truth About Healing
Here’s the truth: healing is not a straight line.
It is messy. Nonlinear. Layered.
And it’s completely normal—even expected—for you to experience setbacks along the way.
In trauma recovery, we don’t always move forward in a tidy, upward trajectory. We circle back. We revisit old wounds. We uncover deeper layers. We get triggered by things we thought we’d worked through. This doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means you’re still healing.
Think of healing as a spiral: sometimes it feels like you’re coming back to the same place, but you’re meeting it with new insight, stronger tools, and greater awareness than before. That makes all the difference.
Why You Reacted That Way
You reacted because your nervous system still remembers what it needed to do to survive. Trauma isn’t just a story in your mind—it’s stored in your body. Even if your brain knows you’re safe now, your body might still need time to catch up.
The fact that you noticed the behavior, that you felt the remorse or the sadness, that you’re here reading this—it means something has already shifted. Years ago, you might have reacted and not even known why. You might have stayed in that survival state for days or weeks. You might not have cared.
Now you care. Now you notice. Now you want better. That’s progress.
You’re Bouncing Back Faster
One of the surest signs of growth is how quickly you return to yourself after a setback.
Maybe it used to take you weeks to regulate again. Now it takes a day. Or a few hours. Or maybe you can name what happened in the moment, even if you couldn’t stop it. That’s progress too.
Every time you bounce back a little faster, with a little more self-awareness, you’re rewiring your brain and nervous system. Every time you choose self-compassion over self-criticism, you’re healing a part of yourself that once believed they weren’t worthy of grace.
Give Yourself the Grace You Give Others
If someone you loved was healing from trauma and had a hard day, would you shame them? Would you say they failed?
Of course not.
You’d offer them kindness. You’d say, “It’s okay. You’re human. You’re doing your best.”
You deserve that same kindness.
Your healing is valid. Your setbacks don’t erase your progress.
And most importantly—you are not back at square one. You’re just meeting an old wound with new strength.
Some Gentle Reminders for the Days You Feel Like You’re Slipping:
Healing isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present.
Triggers are reminders, not prophecies.
Setbacks are setups for deeper healing.
You’re not broken—you’re rebuilding.
Grace is part of the work, not a reward you earn at the end.
So breathe. Recenter. Reach out. Rest if you need to. Journal it out. Cry it out. Laugh if it helps. Let the wave pass, and then stand up again. You are still healing. You are still growing. You are still becoming.
And every time you fall and rise again, you’re not just surviving. You’re thriving.
You deserve your own forgiveness. You deserve your own gentleness.
Be proud of how far you’ve come. And when the hard days hit, remember:
It’s not failure. It’s healing in progress.